Self Care, Self Love and Reclaiming Joy
written by: Julie Blackburn, LCPC, NCC, ATR
You have been trying to conceive or build your family for quite some time. You have consumed yourself with growing your family, going to Dr. Google to find answers to your health conditions in relation to conceiving, you have joined blogs and online groups in hopes to learn of something new to try or to connect with others that are stuggling as you are, you read books about lifestyle and nutrition and explore alternative treatments like accupunture, massage, yoga, reflexology and essential oils in the hopes to improve your outcomes.What about the rest of your being? Where did you go?
Somewhere along the way, your spirit and soul is lacking nourishment and attention
Well today, we are going to change that. All of you matters!
It’s unrealistic to think you will be the same person you were before fertility concerns. You are clearly being challenged on a regular basis in many different aspects of life.
ACTIVITY: Connect with various aspects of your being and ways to help you feel like you again. Supplies needed: paper and pen/markers
Set your paper horizontal… and make 5 equal columns…
- Emotional – How do you WANT to FEEL
- ONLY 3-4 Good Feelings
- What thoughts support or promote those healthy, positive feelings?
- How does your actions/body support or promote those healthy, positive feelings?
- In which ways do your soul or connection to a greater community/universe support those healthy, positive feelings?
- How do your relationships support or promote those healthy, positive feelings?
Starting today, you are to do only one of those things on that list. Only one. The idea is to start with simple things that will help lead you to how you want to be.
We need to look beyond the fertility information and messages you are getting. We need to change the locus of control from doctors and nurses and even social workers and adoption specialists back onto ourselves. We need to change the focus onto the qualities and things we do that are uniquely us and accept that our fertility is a part of a greater whole.
ACTIVITY: Guided Mediation Supplies Needed: paper and pen/markers and a comfy seat.
We are going to explore our sense of being in relationship to our connection with colors… The next exercise is a guided meditation that takes you through colors and encourages your insight to explore different aspects of your being.
On a new sheet of paper write the colors: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple.
The meditation will connect a color with a quality. After the meditation you will capture the unique qualities about yourself.
You are Alive and Colorful Meditation:
Close your eyes (if you’re driving or walking, keep your eyes ahead of you)… We are going to slow down your thoughts and focus on you. Take a slow deep breath in…. hold it…. Slowly blow the air out like you are blowing a balloon. Again, breathe in.. 1,2,3,4 hold it… breathe out 1,2,3,4. Focus on your breath.
You are alive and colorful. For each color is a beauty within you. You have a unique connection with each color. There is a vibrance that shines from within.
In your mind, see the color red… focus on the red in your heart and being. What greatness is within you that is red?
In your mind, move to the color orange… focus on the orange in your mind and being… what is amazingly orange within you?
In your mind, see the color yellow… focus on the yellow of your limbs and being. Where in your life do you shine?
In your mind, see the color green… focus on the green in your core and being… you can count on things in your life… what is within you that you can rely on….
In your mind, see the color blue… focus on the blue in your views and being… what is of value and important to how you live your life…
Finally, in your mind, see the color purple… focus on the purple in your soul and being… what in your life creates inspiration and creativity…
Take a breathe in 1,2,3,4 hold it… breathe out 1,2,3,4 and when you are ready open your eyes. Take 1 minute to write your color associations.
I will have this guided meditation for you as a separate audio clip for you to be able to listen and meditate on you as often as you want. This is a great tool for when things haven’t been going so well or if you are feeling defeated. Remember what ever the struggle in whatever area of life, we are a whole person and you have many parts that are great.
Capturing Joy is part of this reclaiming process. It requires you to get out of your head, out of the rumination of thoughts and focus on the world around you. Let’s get to the good stuff on how to connect with Joy.
- Written gratitude journals
- Adding observations of happy moments to your desktop or phone calendar
- Video journal
- Audio notations on your phone
- Capture moments of joy on your smart phone
- Create an album specific for those images
- Look at them once or week or as needed to reconnect with the feeling experienced when you originally took the image.
You are a whole person with amazing qualities. You are unique and wonderful.
I encourage you to share any of your happy thoughts or images in the comments. I love sharing joy and celebrating others and I’d like to do that with you too. Take some time for you – you matter and you are worth it… Good-bye for now.
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